Well, this is quite a long post, so to spare people who already know the details…

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On Saturday was the Wilburton beer festival. Myself, Livejournal:nunfetishist, my friends Greg and John, and my friend Tim and his girlfriend Sandy all went to the festival. Much enjoyment was had by all, I managed to get sunburnt in the shade in interesting geometric patterns. Many beers were consumed by those that way inclined, and I even managed to have two different ciders (half-pints of course). The Hogroast was really rather yummy, so food was good too. Now then, when I got home (with John, Greg and Livejournal:nunfetishist, we were sat in the lounge discussing insanity sauce and I was going to demonstrate how it changes colour to a deep evil red when you shake it. So I grabbed the bottle of insanity sauce and shook it. BIG MISTAKE My finger slipped off the end of the bottle and the lid flew off, allowing about a years supply of insanity sauce to spread itself around the lounge, but perhaps more pressingly, all over me and my eyes. Suffice to say that with very rapid response by my beloved we got most of the insanity sauce off my face, and bathed my eyes in optrex, before I then spent 10 minutes with my head under a shower-head pouring cold water all over my face. Eventually we got to the point that I could bear to have my eyes open, we determined that I could at least see and so we persuaded Tim to take me to the hospital. I shampooed my face and arms to get rid of as much of the insanity sauce as I could find. Then Tim took me to A&E at Addenbrooks. The triage nurse didn’t believe me that chilli sauce got hot enough to worry about ~~- so I carefully explained to her that one of the listed uses of this stuff is driveway cleaner. Eventually I got to see a doctor who was good with eyes. So on to the second most painful thing of the evening~~- having the pH of my left eyeball taken. This involved stuffing some litmus paper **under** my lower eyelid and waiting for it to hurt enough that my eyes watered. Fortunately the right eyeball was much easier as a result. Then we had the weird bit ~~- the doctor put some yellow dye into my eyes and the entire world went sepia toned. This was to check that the surface of the eye balls weren’t damaged in any way. Unfortunately my face is now tear-stained yellow, but it made for some fantastic psychedaelic sights on the way home as things went yellow/white/yellow/white over and over again as we sped past them ;~~) Time passes Sunday morning we wake up and decide that we haven’t seen the cat, but since our internet connection doesn’t work either we ring up Livejournal:gerald_duck and go over to his to listen to nice music and chat. Eventually spending the evening in a very nice pub, we get home and wonder where the cat is. We go out hunting for her (in the rain) and fail to find her. Monday morning, I ring around all the vets etc and lodge descriptions of her. Monday night at about 21:30 I was starting to think we’d not see her alive again. And then at 21:45 a bedraggled, skinny, unkempt pussycat of mine came running into the lounge miaowing at the top of her little lungs. So we shut the back door and locked the catflap, generally secured the place (while lizzie drank water) and then we examined her. She was scratch-free, bite-free, generally fine, just looking crap. (Most unlike my pussycat) This morning, she had smooth shiny fur, she was bulking back up (having had her usual dry food, a bit of ham and some cat-safe milk) and was purring away when I went downstairs after my morning ablutions. So now I have to ring round all the vets, thank them for their efforts and tell them that she has come home. (Oh and find out how much it is to get her chipped) All in all, quite a weekend.
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